In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl writes: 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. 
In that space is our power to choose our response. 
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”  

In many ways, that is where leadership lives. 
 

Not in the polished presentations. 
Not in the carefully crafted emails. 
But in the space between words, and in the conversations we navigate every day. 

Recently, I was listening to the podcast On Purpose with Jay Shetty, and I was struck by a simple but powerful idea: communication is not about what we say – rather, communication is about what lands.
 

And, played out further, communication is about what happens in the moments before we respond. 

That space. 

Across the province, in all of your schools and in the multitude of interactions you navigate, this is where the work sits. 

Conversations with staff traversing change. Conversations with families who need extra care and concern. Conversations with students as they are maturing and growing through a multitude of phases with ever increasing influences.  

In these moments, it can be easy to focus on getting the message right. 

But leadership is not about delivering the perfect message. 

It is about how we hold that space. 

The pause before we speak. 
The breath we take when something feels charged. 
The choice to respond rather than react. 

And when we are grounded, we invite others to be grounded. 
 

I have been reflecting on how often clarity matters more than intensity. 
How saying less — but saying it with care and precision — can shift an entire conversation.


And, most importantly, how curiosity opens doors, while certainty often closes them. 

 
Some of the most powerful questions we can ask are the simplest: 

Help me understand.
What is your perspective?
Can you tell me more?

These are not just conversational strategies. 
They are acts of relational leadership. 

They signal that we are not here to win. 
We are here to understand. 

In doing so, we create the possibility for something deeper than agreement — we create alignment. 

Because, ultimately, strong leadership is not measured by how clearly we speak.
It is measured by how well we connect and influence. 

It is determined by whether people leave our conversations feeling heard and respected. By whether they are willing and engaged to move forward together towards the common goal.
 

As we move through this spring — a time of year when there are moments of both momentum and uncertainty – we don’t always have the answers in hand. Sometimes, the most important role of a leader is simply to hold space. 

To take a breath between the stimulus and response, to be steady and present, and to 
create a pathway forward for others.

Perhaps that is the quiet invitation for all of us this week: 

To notice the space. 
To honour it. 
And to lead within it. 

Because in that space, 
leadership lives. 

Onward,

Dr. Shannon Behan
sbehan@bcpvpa.bc.ca